Let’s MoveOn beyond faceless hucksters

By RON BROCHU

Put the squeeze on Rep. Jim Oberstar, the e-mail says; pressure him to strengthen the energy bill. Why?

“Because Big Oil and Coal have teamed up with conservatives in both parties, and they've been successful in weakening the bill,” said the message, which was selectively e-mailed to his constituents by MoveOn.Org, a political action group that considers 4 million Americans to be members.

“Can you sign this petition to Representative James Oberstar today? Eighty thousand MoveOn members have already signed. We need to double the number of signatures by Wednesday — that means we need 25 more signatures in Duluth. MoveOn members will personally deliver this petition to many congressional offices the next day. Click here to add your name,” said the author, Anna Galland, which may or may not be her real name, if indeed she is a real person.

With the presidential election now part of history, MoveOn sends similar e-mails addressing virtually every issue bound for Congress. Hardly a day passes when the group isn’t urging faceless recipients to hit some hot button, adding their name to an impassioned plea that will be hand delivered throughout the Congressional Office Building.

But MoveOn e-mails more than just a plea for political support. The group’s hot button sends recipients to a pop-up window that unveils its real message: “Thanks for signing. Now can you donate to help save Obama’s plan from Big Oil and Coal?”

Give us your money

That was MoveOn’s message throughout the presidential campaign. Donate by Tuesday and we can out-gun the Conservative Bastards! We can change America! And even before Tuesday arrived, MoveOn was pimping another money plea – because screwing the Filthy Republicans was getting more expensive every day.

One can only guess about these things, but MoveOn seemed to find my personal mailbox soon after I clicked a hot button to receive a free Obama campaign button.
Not sure where the offer originated, but the crappy little button didn’t arrive until long after election day. But it didn’t take nearly that long for MoveOn to adopt me like a long-lost brother – a long-lost brother who was anxious to send his hard-earned money to a liberal fundraising machine that would flood my mailbox with constant propaganda. To hear them tell it, President Barack Obama cannot succeed without an ongoing cash tsunami – not in an era when Big Oil, Big Banks and Big Business in General manipulate every Republican.

Quite a scenario, but it must be true. After all, MoveOn has 4 million members. Or does it? Can’t help but wonder how many of its “members” just thought they were getting an Obama campaign button.

Be that as it may, it spotlights how money and special interests have twisted the American political process. We elect a president. We elect senators. We elect representatives. Theoretically, they represent their constituents. They read our letters. They respond to our needs.

But MoveOn and its conservative counterparts take the process a step further. They want to be an unelected middle man. Bad enough we have to pay elected officials; now, we have to pay intermediaries to represent our interests to the very people who should already be well versed in our needs.

It’s a great scam if you can pull it off. Political action groups, no doubt, employ thousands of parasites who otherwise would be lunching off their parents or peddling religion.

A weird scene

So imagine this – you are Jim Oberstar, sitting in your office one fine morning reading La Monde and eating French toast. Suddenly, an emissary from MoveOn.org walks in with a petition that says:

“We need a stronger energy bill to fulfill Obama's vision of a clean energy economy. Congress should strengthen the clean energy standards and restore Obama's authority to crack down on dirty coal plants."

In the first place, they would never get beyond your handlers, but that’s another story. So we’ll have to pretend. What would Minnesota’s senior Congressman be thinking:

A) To hell with Minnesota Power. I won’t be duped by Big Coal, Big Energy and Big Business or

B) To hell with MoveOn.org. They don’t sign anyone’s paycheck in northern Minnesota, and they don’t have to seek reelection every two years.
And that’s that, so let’s MoveOn to another topic.

When the music's over

Bad enough that Duluth has lousy weather – it also has lousy radio.
What’s the deal when every rock station plays and replays the same 50 songs by Bob Seeger, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, CSN and Alice in Chains? Over and over and over.
Sometimes, they don’t even play the whole song. Chunks are hacked out with the precision of Josef Mengele. Funnier yet is the lame attempt to disguise obvious bad language. Take a listen to “Man in a box” as Layne Staley sings “Shove my nose in schlipxtc.”

Huh?

TV networks at least offer a disclaimer when they hack a piece of art by squeezing it into a square screen or remove offensive material. On radio, they just let some pencil-necked geek hack at the art on a software screen, neutering it like an overworked veterinarian.

This article first appeared in the June 12, 2009 Reader Weekly.