Rolex revolutionaries buy freedom at bike store

By RON BROCHU

Four decades after their movement failed, former hippies are trying to recreate their past aboard loud, fast Hogs.


That thought emerged a thousand times at the Feb. 14 International Motorcycle Show in Minneapolis. The event was jammed with aging throwbacks who, after raising a passel of kids, are donning leather and straddling Harleys.


It’s not always a pretty picture. Come look: There’s Bill Clinton in a head wrap sizing up a Road King, and Hillary checking out leather vests in the apparel booth. By impersonating Sonny Barger, the legendary Hell’s Angels figurehead, aging Americans are searching for a counterculture Nirvana, that mythical place nobody quite found Back In The Day, when it became easier to drop out and turn on than to redefine the American Dream.


A $20,000 bike, of course, is just an expensive symbol. Like a Stratocaster, it’s worthless in the wrong hands. And face it: Most Harleys are in the hands of overstuffed execs who trailer their bikes to Sturgis behind Escalades, riding them just the last few miles – after they swap their monogrammed shirts for brand-name leather costumes. If confronted by real bikers, they wouldn’t survive the first blow to their capped teeth.


Nonetheless, prosperous suburbanites don’t embarrass easily. They’re cool with buying freedom at a bike store, hideously resembling Fred and Ethel Mertz wrapped in cowhide.


It’s just the latest form of escapism in a society hell-bent on having fun while Washington burns. Earlier came snowmobiles and ATVs – machines well suited for a society awash in cheap fuel and environmental disregard. Ignored were loftier goals, such as being good citizens by monitoring the political process, running for office and forcing incumbents into early retirement.


Our disregard has been our downfall. It’s been a fine party, but let’s be clear: While we played, our country putrefied.


Tardy or too late?


Real freedom can’t be purchased, nor can respect. You have to fight for both, but at some point, Americans stopped fighting for anything that didn’t involve personal pleasure or amusement.

Duluthians, for instance, have spent more time haggling over the Lakewalk extension than street repair, expended more effort to saving Lake Superior Zoo than ridding the harbor of invasive species. Our priorities are completely whacked.


On a broader front, the American Dream ran amok, with a majority of people refusing to accept personal responsibility for our collective plight. Instead, we’ve sought pleasure through role play, whether aboard a lightning-fast sport bike, playing Guitar Hero or mindlessly gaming on cell phones. Sure as sunrise, we disregarded all need to sacrifice for the common good.


Just one question: Is it too late to change? Can decades of high life and cheap decadence be reversed? Is America ready?


Hell no.

• Higher state and federal taxes? You’ve got to be kidding! We want to pay less and complain more.


• Reduced public employee benefits? Go fish! Public employee unions control City Hall and care less about taxpayers, despite looming deficits.


• Mainstream media owned and operated by locals rather than carpetbaggers? Much needed, but it ain’t gonna happen.


• Muffled Harleys? Don’t bet your sweet earplugs! The stairway to badass heaven will remain surrounded by thunder.

Yet, we’re at a tipping point. Something must change. Even cheap Nirvana is too costly as the country teeters on bankruptcy. And the worst is yet to come.

• The next shock will appear on our first quarter 401(k) statements. As If December results weren’t bad enough, the markets have dived every time President Obama unveiled new bailout initiatives. Pensions are dwindling faster than hope.


• As unemployment soars, millions inch closer to credit card default. That could be the final straw for big banks that already are destined to topple. How many bailouts can our great grandchildren afford?


• Domestic automakers are destined to fail without a significant infusion of public money. While Detroit seems far away, it’s the major consumer of Minnesota’s iron ore. If one of the big three go under, the regional economy will be slapped hard.

Where do we ride now? Have you heard of the dreaded high-side crash? Hope you wore a helmet and chaps.


FULL DISCLOSURE:Author Ron Brochu rides a 1990 Harley XL1200, which spends more time in repair than on the road, thanks to hideously poor design. But it’s cheap transportation and easy to fix. Brochu archives his articles at www.ronbrochublog.com.

Congress manufacturing sleeper cells

By RON BROCHU

Revolution was a frequent topic in the 1960s, but the threat is far greater today.


Average people are much more desperate and disgusted than our detached leaders comprehend – even during quiet moments between ongoing feedings of white wine and quiche with healthcare lobbyists. From Duluth to Tonawanda, highly educated, experienced people can’t find employment; retirees are struggling to survive as their 401(k) balances vaporize; college kids, burdened by massive tuition debt, have little chance of getting their heads above water before midlife. Widespread discontent is beginning to fester.


After caving in for decades to excessive union demands, cities, counties and states suddenly find themselves broke and gasping for bundles of cash to fund expensive benefits that are beyond reach to non-government workers. Programs that serve the poor are in danger of being severely trimmed or discontinued, while common taxpayers must be extra fees to receive services that should be covered by their existing levy. Mainstream workers have grown tired of picking up the pieces.


Still, the Washington banter remains partisan and deconstructive. During the Bush administration, Congress hastily advanced an ill-thought economic rescue plan that already has failed. Despite a staggering price that will choke future generations, it merely helped big banks grow bigger while continuing to perk underachieving executives. Even worse, the massive handout featured the same lack of oversight that originally dragged America into recession.


President Obama’s new plan thrusts the country far deeper into debt but smells heavily of a liberal feeding frenzy. Despite quick passage, virtually everyone anticipates failure.


And for good reason. Just take at look at Duluth’s “stimulus” proposal. Here’s a quick way to spend a quarter-billion of your dollars: Get the feds to fund the school district’s ill-thought and overpriced Long Range Facilities Plan; build a new airport terminal (as if the existing one isn’t big enough to serve one airline); improve airport runways and roads; construct a joint public safety facility and enhance public transportation infrastructure.


The outcome? Create 2,300 jobs – all in construction-related trades. According to 2007 Census estimates, that would provide employment for every Duluth construction worker, plus a few more. Interestingly, 92.6 percent of them are men; apparently women don’t need jobs.


Not all of the local requests are included in our list, but the remainder lean heavily toward more of the same. Basically, it’s the city’s list of state legislative bonding requests.


In essence, it’s a hastily assembled wish list that, coincidently, would create jobs for unions that contribute heavily to whichever party is in power. It’s not a thoughtfully created list of projects that would assist a broad spectrum of unemployed workers in a vast array of professions.


Thus far, Americans have remained passive about Washington’s failure to lead – so much so that most people don’t understand the long-term apathy; hopefully, that behavior won’t become passive-aggressive. But given the widespread pain and discontent, people may begin to act out their frustrations for a variety of reasons:

• The beltway stench grows worse and worse. Recent national elections demonstrate people want to throw the bastards out – the Republicans one year, Democrats the next. Each time, the incoming party is a mere clone of its predecessor. People are coming to realize that everyone in Congress is owned by special interests. Power means everything, constituents mean nothing.


• Politicians and economists alike believe Obama’s latest plan won’t be the last. Another massive bailout will be proposed before 2009 ends, raising skepticism even faster than domestic debt.


• Deficit spending eventually will devalue the dollar, fueling inflation faster than federal presses can print greenbacks. Inflation will outpace wage growth, further decreasing the quality of life for average people.


• Medicare and Medicaid costs will continue to grow, and lawmakers won’t work together to repair the ailing plans.


• Bought and controlled by the medical industry, Congress won’t address health care reform, even as constituents fall through the cracks and silently grow livid.


• Taxes inevitably will have to rise as the country struggles on multiple fronts to solve problems politically rather than intellectually. Eventually, everyone will be forced to repay the cost of Washington’s political ineptitude.

Lawlessness could be an early sign that American life is running amok. Theft already is on the rise as poor people struggle to survive with less and less. It will increase if the middle class loses its footing, its homes and its future.


As national debt grows in tandem with illegal immigration, more and more citizens could refuse to pay their taxes, either in protest or for lack of money. Tax collection or property confiscation efforts would only fuel middle class angst.


If this scenario proves true, well-heeled Americans could pack up the car and move abroad – creating massive out-migration of financial resources. Well-educated young people might follow, taking their skills to more-stable countries while abandoning their college loans. That would dump America’s troubles on those who are stuck behind – the abandoned middle class and growing numbers of poorly educated impoverished people.


Could it really happen? Only time will tell, but we’re off to a great start.
The promise of an Obama presidency brought hope to many, but early evidence suggests he’s just another party hack bent on serving his closest supporters while common citizens pay for the party.


Author Ron Brochu is mad as hell and won’t take it anymore. He archives his rants at www.ronbrochublog.com, where your comment is always welcome.

Some industries deserve regulation

By RON BROCHU

The best way to make a buck in Duluth is to launch a company that uses law enforcement to generate business and strong arm customers.

Say what? How can that be?


Here and in many other areas, these perks are enjoyed by those in the towing/impound biz, a largely unregulated trade that allows some operators to rip off the public while cops turn their back.


Several versions of the game are played every day. One of them involves an expensive shakedown of drivers who park in snow removal zones. It happens like this.


For one reason or another, some folks park in zones marked for snow removal, even though the operation is advertised (in publications they never read) and “no parking” signs are posted. They probably could have avoided a tow.


Later, they find their vehicle missing, then call or visit police. That’s when they discover the equivalent of a ransom scheme. To get their car back, they first need to get release documents from police. But after hoofing it to PD, people learn the release tag can only be provided if they present proof of insurance.


Authorities, of course, urge people to keep proof of insurance in their glove box. So, without their car, parking violators must hoof it to a bus or an impound lot, meet with the owner, remove the insurance card from their car, then tread back to Police HQ.


Impound lots, by the way, aren’t located in spiffy areas. Expect to walk down an alley in an unkempt part of town.


The second trip to impound is the most depressing. It’s when you learn the high cost of lodging an automobile. A few hours behind a chain link fence can cost more than a weekend at the Radisson. If you leave your car there for a day or two, better dig into your Christmas Club account or be prepared to forfeit your title.


Don’t expect to see a rate card conspicuously posted. A sympathetic lot owner might give you a break, but a grump might burn your butt just for the sport of it. Best bet: avoid an argument and don’t flaunt your Rolex.


The game can also go like this. You’re in a collision, and the car is disabled. If it’s blocking traffic, emergency dispatchers will call the first tow truck available, despite the operator’s reputation. If you have a preference or auto club membership, forget it.


I played this game nearly two years ago. My auto was towed to a locked outdoor facility, where an adjuster declared it a total loss. When retrieving personal belongings, several things were missing, including a $200 sleeping bag, FM transmitter and an antique religious pendant. In a subsequent phone call, the tow operator denied anything was missing and loudly slammed the received into his phone cradle.


Then came the lesson about the relationship between police and the tow business. After reporting the missing items to authorities, I was told that anybody could have climbed the impound lot’s fence, and I’d need an eyewitness to identify who burglarized my vehicle. It’s “a civil matter” and authorities wouldn’t do anything, they said, washing their hands of the situation. My only recourse was a small claims suit. Although the impound yard was in Duluth, the operator resided in another state. Any lawsuit would have required me to take time off from work to plead my case before the defendant’s home town judge for a fee of about $80. The odds stunk.


Having an acquaintance in the tow business proved informative. I learned some companies immediately inventory vehicle contents and place them under lock and key.


That’s not required, however. Only top operators go the distance for their customers.


I also learned that nearby communities did very little business with the driver who towed my vehicle. After receiving numerous complaints about missing possessions, they moved his name to the bottom of their call list, a local police chief told me.
But not in Duluth, which (incorrectly) views itself as progressive. It seemed logical, therefore, to address the situation. So I contacted city councilors about the need for regulation. All of them responded to my letter, some even expressing sympathy, but my plea fell from their memory quicker than Gary Doty’s lame administration.


Police Chief Gordon Ramsey referred the matter to an assistant chief, who was to contact me within a few days. It never happened.


The situation is even worse in rural areas, a distressed motorist told me several months later. His pick-up broke down and was towed in rural northwestern Wisconsin, even though he left a note on the windshield saying he’d return within minutes. He claimed it was driven off the state road, yet it was towed and he was forced to pay several hundred bucks to get it back.


This individual alleged the tow operator was paying a kickback to his county sheriff, but it was impossible to prove. Similar arrangements, however, are common in the car repair business. While investigating a franchise opportunity a few years back, the franchisor’s representative taught me the value of working with tow truck drivers. When picking up a dead car, they “highly recommend” your shop, and convince the distraught motorist it’s the best place to fix their vehicle. In turn, the shop pays the truck driver an instant stipend. A nice cash deal.


There are many honest operators in the tow business, but high ethics aren’t universal. Until city councilors tackle the problem (don’t hold your breath), motorists would be wise to ask where their vehicle will be stored, at what cost and whether their possessions will be kept under lock and key. If not, make a big fuss and demand responders contact another tow. State your concerns and hold your ground.


It worked for me recently when the same tow that “lost” my possessions was sent to an accident involving a relative. I voiced my concerns and the traffic officer sent him packing when my AAA truck arrived.


Author Ron Brochu archives his articles at www.ronbrochublog.com, which is linked to several local and regional political blogs.


Published in the Feb. 13, 2009 Northland Reader